The Ego and Suicide

by Joni
(Northern California)

Melancholy, Janaka Stagnaro

Melancholy, Janaka Stagnaro

My 31 year old son, Preston, died of depression in June of 2007. Although a shock, it wasn't a surprise, as he'd been depressed and threatened to take his life for years. I did all I could to help him with the knowledge I had at the time.

I experienced my grief, feeling all the emotions that came; not suppressing or ignoring any of them. I'd go for drives to scream them out sometimes and return home drained but feeling a bit better. It was the worst experience of my life, to say the least.

The other thing that got me through and still does is knowing he is well now, happy and free. I can see the bigger picture of why we're here, this is temporary, etc.

I came to this website to learn more of the ego and depression. In the book "Interview With an Angel" the question of suicide was brought up and the group of angels calling themselves Ariel said that when the ego has completely taken over - when the 'house of cards' it has created falls - it is impossible for even their realm to reach the person, unless at the last moment of despair, the ego can step aside and be infused with their love.

I am a moderator at one of the most highly rated suicide survivor forums. This has been a God-send for me. It's one of the ways I honor my son's life and helping me find joy again in helping others.

One thing I find frustrating is the medical profession and mainstream therapy for the prevention of suicide. It doesn't work that I see, except in rare cases. I am very against allopathic drug use; I can't count how many new members post that their loved ones either started a new drug or were on a combination of these drugs or they had stopped taking them and suffered the consequences.

Anyway, I'd love to have your thoughts on how to help the suicidal and thank you in advance.


Dear Joni,

I am so sorry to hear about your boy, Preston. Yet I am happy how you are honoring him by your work in helping to prevent others from taking their own lives. You are doing what I would suggest to anyone who is depressed, who is overburdened by the ego--find someone else who can be helped. There is always someone who is worse off. Depression, from my point of view, is energy that becomes heavy like an anchor. The more one sits in that energy, ruminating upon their miseries, then it just becomes heavier and heavier until suicide seems to be the only way out. Yet suicide is never the way out because it is not getting out of one's story. One needs to move the energy, and one of the best ways is helping other beings-whether humans, animals or plants. Of course creative endeavors move the energy as well.

On other levels we commit suicide as a people spiritually every day by killing our awareness of who we really are. When we think that we are a body and not an infinite being, we have enshrouded our mind with the believe that we can actually die. This is why meditation is so important, and especially in these uncertain times on this planet. When the world is spinning out of our control, only the hub of our true nature can offer true peace and happiness.

As to the what Preston has been or is experiencing on the other side, I have no idea. The idea of Preston or anyone existing as a limited being, whether in physical or subtle bodies, is still an idea of the ego, for it is the idea that we are separate from God, of All That Is. We have never been nor ever will be separate from God, Who is around and in all beings. No exceptions. There is one I AM appearing as many.

When you think of your son, send him the thought: You are as God created you. And don't let your mind tell you otherwise. Hold the truth for him and for all those others you work with.

Peace be to you,
Janaka

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Jul 27, 2013
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The Depletion of Will and the Illusion of Resting in Peace
by: Janaka

Well, I found out more information about the parent who left her two children behind. Not wanting to follow in her mother's footsteps of being bi-polar and really messed up at the end of her life, which this parent was having to deal with, she didn't want to burden the her family by becoming like her mother. Because it runs in the family she saw this illness as incurable. And she did actually try various allopathic combinations to help her condition, but because she was addicted to smoking pot the combinations just made her moods worse, and she wouldn't give up the pot even after her therapist told her she was not going to work with her because of her not willing to give up pot.

One of the things about marijuana is that it saps the will power. It turns one into a lotus eater where everything is just cool and why struggle. It takes away the warrior spirit. While I am an advocate for legalizing this drug, I only support it to get it out of the black market and all the illegal activity around it. If it was legalized then the sin tax could be applied so programs could be created to steer people away from this subtly harmful drug. Alcohol messes with the astral/emotional body while pot messes with the will forces.

As her will was so weakened she just gave up. She ordered a euthanasia kit over the internet three-weeks prior, dropped her kids off at their grandparents for their vacation, and the next day smoked some pot, put the gas mask on and off she went.

There is a memorial for her today and the spin is that she has gone to a better place and will no longer suffer. It's such a lie. You end physical suffering when you die, not mental. Just as you go to sleep and your dreams will reflect the tendency of your mind, so will your death. What you don't clear here you WILL need to work with over there beyond the threshold. This spin of resting in peace is dangerous, especially for her surviving children; for in the back of their minds will be that whispering, "There's an easy way out."

If she was just a single person who wanted to take this delusion trip it would be as though she was going off to long trip to Tibet or some place and wouldn't be seen anymore this life, that would be fine with me--it would be her choice. But to take off--whether for a life-long trip on this planet or killing yourself--I'm not okay with it. When you are a parent you need to be responsible for your kids until they become adults.

May she find inner peace and her children find courage to walk in beauty upon their journey.

Jul 26, 2013
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Even an Holistic Life Didn't Help
by: Janaka

A parent of one of my students recently took her own life, leaving behind two beautiful teenagers. For years she has been battling depression, although I usually saw her in her bright moments. She was a very spiritual person and did everything holistically. Yet it wasn't enough to stop her from plunging into the abyss. Mental disease has been part of her family's history. I'm not an advocate of running to take allopathic drugs when we are having troubles but in her case, and in hindsight, maybe drugs would have helped in balancing her brain chemistry. Regardless, she is no longer in her physical body and tomorrow her life will be celebrated by her community.

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