The Ego and Suicide

by Joni
(Northern California)

My 31 year old son, Preston, died of depression in June of 2007. Although a shock, it wasn't a surprise, as he'd been depressed and threatened to take his life for years. I did all I could to help him with the knowledge I had at the time.

I experienced my grief, feeling all the emotions that came; not suppressing or ignoring any of them. I'd go for drives to scream them out sometimes and return home drained but feeling a bit better. It was the worst experience of my life, to say the least.

The other thing that got me through and still does is knowing he is well now, happy and free. I can see the bigger picture of why we're here, this is temporary, etc.

I came to this website to learn more of the ego and depression. In the book "Interview With an Angel" the question of suicide was brought up and the group of angels calling themselves Ariel said that when the ego has completely taken over - when the 'house of cards' it has created falls - it is impossible for even their realm to reach the person, unless at the last moment of despair, the ego can step aside and be infused with their love.

I am a moderator at one of the most highly rated suicide survivor forums. This has been a God-send for me. It's one of the ways I honor my son's life and helping me find joy again in helping others.

One thing I find frustrating is the medical profession and mainstream therapy for the prevention of suicide. It doesn't work that I see, except in rare cases. I am very against allopathic drug use; I can't count how many new members post that their loved ones either started a new drug or were on a combination of these drugs or they had stopped taking them and suffered the consequences.

Anyway, I'd love to have your thoughts on how to help the suicidal and thank you in advance.


Dear Joni,

I am so sorry to hear about your boy, Preston. Yet I am happy how you are honoring him by your work in helping to prevent others from taking their own lives. You are doing what I would suggest to anyone who is depressed, who is overburdened by the ego--find someone else who can be helped. There is always someone who is worse off. Depression, from my point of view, is energy that becomes heavy like an anchor. The more one sits in that energy, ruminating upon their miseries, then it just becomes heavier and heavier until suicide seems to be the only way out. Yet suicide is never the way out because it is not getting out of one's story. One needs to move the energy, and one of the best ways is helping other beings-whether humans, animals or plants. Of course creative endeavors move the energy as well.

On other levels we commit suicide as a people spiritually every day by killing our awareness of who we really are. When we think that we are a body and not an infinite being, we have enshrouded our mind with the believe that we can actually die. This is why meditation is so important, and especially in these uncertain times on this planet. When the world is spinning out of our control, only the hub of our true nature can offer true peace and happiness.

As to the what Preston has been or is experiencing on the other side, I have no idea. The idea of Preston or anyone existing as a limited being, whether in physical or subtle bodies, is still an idea of the ego, for it is the idea that we are separate from God, of All That Is. We have never been nor ever will be separate from God, Who is around and in all beings. No exceptions. There is one I AM appearing as many.

When you think of your son, send him the thought: You are as God created you. And don't let your mind tell you otherwise. Hold the truth for him and for all those others you work with.

Peace be to you,
Janaka