Relationship is Not Easy

by Susan
(Pennsylvania)

I am at a crossroads with my personal life. I have been with my significant other for the past almost 16 years and we have had a great life together, except for the fact that my significant other comes from a very tumultuous childhood which seems to affect her ability to stay true to our relationship. We just bought a house a year ago and she has strayed 3 times in our relationship, never with people that she could have a future with for a variety of reasons. I pray often, and we are currently not together, but living in our home - I believe she needs to get help for the issues where she does not believe she deserves happiness. I am in therapy and working on me and my self esteem. I am praying in the end we will be together and finish the life we started and promised each other, but I am not sure if I am being ridiculous.

Dear Susan,

Relationship is not easy, in fact, it is the hardest work there is. We are led to believe that someone will complete us and that it is a good thing to not be able to live without the other. It is good that you are learning to love yourself for if you do not love your Self, you can never love anyone else. And when I speak of love I mean the Love that dwells within all of us that only sees itself shining. There are no conditions that has this love shine more or less. It is like the Sun that shines on us no matter what we do or do not. Your partner, for whatever reason, is on her quest to find happiness out there. But no matter how painful it is to you, what she does or doesn’t do has no bearing on your happiness. You are Love and will always be so. So is she. Now, that doesn’t mean that you let anyone smash your boundaries. As a parent and teacher I have to set boundaries for my children or I would not be doing them a service or myself. It would be chaos. Go to the peaceful place within you and see what is needed for you in this situation, and then act upon it. If you feel that it is harmful to stay in the present situation than it will take courage to bless her and then move on. Regardless there is a death (for all change is a death of sorts) that is needed in the relationship for it to be healthy.
Be fearless, for that is your true nature. And remember who you truly are so you can remember who she truly is.

All is well,

Janaka

(Thank you for your inquiry and I’m sorry it has taken so long to respond, but I just saw this posting due to some glitch.)