I Suffer from my Past
Spirit of the Air, Janaka Stagnaro
Bad memories & bad experiences haunt me every moment of life, which is hindering my daily normal life. How to get rid of these things so that I can lead a normal life. Regards.
You are not alone in suffering from your mind. No doubt there have been horrible situations you have experienced. However, a story comes to mind of a mother who came to the Buddha carrying her dead child. She pleaded with him to bring the child back. The Buddha looked a her and said he would, if she could find one household who had not experienced suffering. She went from door to door and with every home suffering had visited at some point. She came back to the Buddha having failed in her attempt.
"Now I will teach you to find the end of the suffering," he said.
The way out of suffering is to find out who you really are, which entails giving up the false notion of who you have thought yourself, and everyone else, to be. All events, whether pleasant or not, center around the notion that you are a body--whether a physical, emotional or mental body--. You are not any of those bodies, but they are yours to express and experience within. What is yours is not you. Just like clothes or a vehicle or home are not you. You may identify with such things, you may even be highly attached to them, but they are not you. You would be insane if you said you were your house, yes? The same holds true with every facet of your life.
However, you and most everyone else, has a mind that is insane and says I am this and that. It even says that its thoughts are you! But they are just thoughts. They are but clouds drifting across your vast Mind--the Mind that is One with All That Is. That Mind is like the sun, untouched by anything happening on this Earth. With the perspective of standing on the Earth the sun may appear blocked by clouds and darkness prevails at times, yet the sun is untouched.
Be who you are. Watch your thoughts and become aware of the One watching the thoughts. No thought is you. Let the happy ones and the sad ones just drift by like clouds. The more you do this the more you will find that Peace which is your true Nature. Watching your breath as well helps to slow down the thoughts.
And then read and watch those things that uplift, so your thoughts become more beautiful.