Heart vs. Sexuality
Martian Landscape 2, Janaka Stagnaro
My life situation(s) has led me to focus on the inside, to focus on the heart.
It's been 15 years of struggle; now I am connected to the heart and can feel love everyday, 24/7. The problem is that I cannot go outwards now, be a man. I am too afraid.
Thus, I have problems with skin irritations in the second chakra area.
I have no idea what to do, because I feel like I have been converted into a woman, both inside and outside.
I want to be a man, but there seems to be a serious block.
What to do?
Thank you for your inquiry. I hope I can address your situation as I understand it. It sounds as though you have been doing a lot of inner work and have come to a very peaceful place in your life, where you feel happy all the time. However, there is still a source of irritation, a source of discontent, in your life, and that is you feel you are not able to function as a man due to ailments (skin condition) to your sexual region. So you are not engaging with women on any sort of intimate level due to the fear or embarrassment of your skin condition. Yes?
What I have found, in myself and others, who are practicing a spiritual life, a disharmony in our relationship with our sexuality. Sex is generally seen as a temptation to be avoided as it leads us into Maya, or into sin. And then in the Western culture it is seen as the ultimate way of being with another, and we have pills to ensure that we men can get it up throughout our lives! To be a man! No wonder why we are confused.
Intimacy has nothing to do with sexuality, although sexuality can be a great way of expressing intimacy. The most important thing, and this is where you have been coming from, is living in the Heart. To be truly living from the Heart you are intimate with everything, including your sexuality. Sex is a neutral thing--it is what we bring to the act that makes it joyful, loving; or, conversely, its two bodies grinding it out looking strictly for pleasure, for release.
All I can say, Martins, without knowing more, is that be kind to Martins the man, and his sexual desires; while remembering that you are a spiritual being, who is neither male nor female. That all is well. And be intimate, Heart-centered, with everyone who is sent your way.